We’ve all been there… faced with a major decision, playing mental ping-pong between options, hoping for clarity, and wondering, “How do I know if this is the right choice?”

Whether it’s a career change, ending a relationship, moving cities, or saying yes to an opportunity that scares you, decision-making often feels heavy. Many of my coaching clients arrive in sessions with this exact question. And while we may long for a lightning bolt moment of certainty, real clarity often comes in subtler ways.

As a coach, I’ve come to believe that wise decisions don’t just emerge from the intellect—they’re discerned through alignment. Alignment with your values. Alignment with your deeper purpose. And for those who are spiritually inclined, alignment with the quiet guidance of something greater.

In this post, we’ll explore how to recognize that alignment, not by overthinking, but by tuning in to the internal “fruits” that show up when you’re on the right path. Think of this as a soulful and practical compass for discerning right action, especially when you can’t see the full road ahead.

The Modern Decision-Making Dilemma

In our hyper-connected world, we’re drowning in opinions, data, and advice. Social media feeds us endless success stories and cautionary tales. Friends and family weigh in with their perspectives. Google serves up countless articles promising the “5 Steps to Perfect Decision-Making.”

Yet despite all this information, many of us feel more confused than ever when facing important choices. Why? Because we’ve been conditioned to look everywhere except the one place where our truest guidance lives: within ourselves.

The external noise can become so loud that we lose touch with our internal compass. We start making decisions based on what we think we “should” do, what looks good on paper, or what others expect of us. We chase outcomes instead of alignment, and wonder why even our “successful” choices sometimes leave us feeling empty.

This is where the ancient wisdom of discernment meets modern coaching practices. True decision-making isn’t just about choosing the “best” option—it’s about choosing the option that’s best for your authentic self and highest purpose.

Decision-Making and the Coaching Mindset

Before we dive into the signs, it’s important to understand how coaching approaches decisions. Coaches aren’t in the business of giving advice. We’re trained to help you access your own inner wisdom. That often means asking questions that cut through the noise and guide you back to your core.

Some clients expect a pro/con list session, and while that can be helpful, the most powerful insights often arise when we move beyond logic into embodiment. In coaching, we ask: “What does this decision feel like in your body? What’s the emotional residue after imagining each path? What would your wisest self say?”

We also look for patterns of expansion versus contraction. When you imagine choosing Path A, do you feel your chest open and your breathing deepen? Or do you notice tension in your shoulders and a tightening in your stomach? Your body often knows before your mind catches up.

This somatic approach to decision-making acknowledges that we are whole beings, not just thinking machines. Our emotions, physical sensations, and spiritual intuition all carry valuable information about what’s right for us.

In that spirit, let’s explore the nine “fruits” or inner signals that show up when you’re moving in the direction that’s right for you.

The Five Primary Fruits of Right Decision-Making

1. Love: Do You Feel Connected to What Matters Most?

Right decisions often bring you closer to love—whether it’s love for others, love for your craft, or a deeper self-respect. For instance, one client of mine was torn between staying at a high-paying job and starting a nonprofit. When she described the nonprofit, her whole posture shifted. She lit up. She spoke of the impact she wanted to make. That, we realized, was love talking.

Love shows up not as fuzzy sentiment but as clear alignment with your values. It draws you toward the good in yourself and others. If a decision feels like it honors your integrity and deepens your connection with what truly matters, it’s likely a step in the right direction.

This kind of love isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes loving choices require us to set boundaries, disappoint others, or choose the harder path. But there’s a quality of rightness to these decisions that feels unmistakable once you learn to recognize it.

I had another client who struggled with whether to move across the country to care for her aging mother. The logistics were complicated, and she’d have to leave a job she enjoyed. But when she sat quietly and felt into the decision, she kept coming back to love—not obligation, but genuine love for her mother and a desire to be present during this precious time. The decision felt difficult but deeply right.

2. Joy: Does It Energize You, Even If It Scares You?

Joy doesn’t always mean easy or comfortable. Many bold decisions trigger fear. But alongside that fear, there’s often a spark, a deep sense of “this is it.” I call this sacred excitement.

If you’re considering a decision and, beneath the anxiety, there’s a thrill that makes you feel more alive, take note. That’s often joy in disguise. The kind of joy that emerges not from immediate results but from alignment with your authentic path.

One entrepreneur I worked with was considering whether to pivot her entire business model. The change would mean starting over in many ways, learning new skills, and potentially losing income in the short term. She was terrified. But underneath that terror was an unmistakable excitement about the creative possibilities ahead. That excitement—that joy—was her inner wisdom pointing the way forward.

True joy in decision-making often comes with a sense of rightness that transcends immediate circumstances. It’s the joy of being in flow with your purpose, even when the path is uncertain. It’s the deep satisfaction of choosing authenticity over security, growth over comfort.

This joy is different from fleeting pleasure or momentary excitement. It has a quality of sustainability to it, a sense that this choice will continue to energize you even when the initial novelty wears off.

3. Peace: Is There a Quiet ‘Yes’ Beneath the Noise?

Sometimes clients tell me, “I made the hard choice, but I slept better that night than I have in weeks.” That’s peace. It doesn’t always come with applause. It may even come with loss. But when a decision brings inner stillness—even amid chaos—you’ve probably tapped into your deeper knowing.

One client ended a long-term relationship that no longer honored who she was becoming. She grieved, of course. But underneath that sadness, there was a deep breath of peace. Not relief from avoiding pain, but peace from standing in truth.

Peace in decision-making isn’t the absence of challenge. It’s the presence of alignment. It’s that quiet inner “yes” that remains steady even when external circumstances are turbulent. It’s the peace that comes from knowing you’re acting from integrity rather than fear.

I’ve noticed that clients often describe this peace as feeling like they can finally stop holding their breath. There’s a settling that happens in the body, a relaxation of tension they didn’t even realize they were carrying. This somatic peace is often one of the most reliable indicators of a right decision.

Sometimes this peace emerges slowly, like dawn breaking. You might not feel it immediately, but as you sit with a decision over time, there’s a growing sense of rightness, a deepening calm that tells you you’re on the right track.

4. Patience: Can You Stay With the Process Without Forcing an Outcome?

When you’re making the right decision, there’s less urgency to rush. Even if timelines are tight, there’s a sense that you’re not trying to shove a square peg into a round hole.

In coaching, we often slow down the decision-making process to help clients access this patience. One entrepreneur I worked with had an offer to scale her business quickly through outside investment. Everyone told her to leap. But she paused. She took time. And eventually she realized she wanted to grow organically—even if that meant slower growth. Her patience kept her aligned with her long-term vision, not short-term pressure.

Patience in decision-making often manifests as a willingness to let things unfold naturally. Instead of forcing outcomes or rushing toward closure, you find yourself able to sit with uncertainty while remaining open to guidance.

This doesn’t mean being passive or indecisive. Rather, it’s a quality of active patience—staying present and engaged while allowing the decision to ripen in its own time. It’s trusting that clarity will come when it needs to come, and that forcing a decision prematurely often leads to misalignment.

I’ve seen clients torture themselves trying to make decisions quickly, as if speed were a virtue in itself. But the clients who learn to cultivate patience often make more satisfying choices. They permit themselves to gather information, sit with options, and wait for that inner “yes” to emerge clearly.

5. Kindness: Does This Decision Make You More Compassionate—Not Just Successful?

Right decisions soften us. They often make us kinder to ourselves and others.

A client recently faced the choice to leave a toxic team environment. As she moved toward that decision, she noticed she wasn’t as irritable at home. She had more patience with her kids. She wasn’t carrying resentment around like a shield. Kindness returned. And that was a sign the decision was right, not just professionally, but for her whole life ecosystem.

When we make choices aligned with our values and authentic self, we naturally become more generous, more patient, more compassionate. We’re not spending energy fighting against ourselves or trying to be someone we’re not. That freed-up energy flows toward others as kindness.

This kindness often shows up in unexpected ways. You might find yourself more forgiving of others’ mistakes, more patient in traffic, more generous with compliments. Right decisions create a positive ripple effect that extends far beyond the immediate choice at hand.

Conversely, when we make decisions that compromise our integrity or authentic self, we often become harder, more defensive, and more critical. We carry that inner tension into our relationships and daily interactions. Paying attention to how your decisions affect your capacity for kindness is a powerful diagnostic tool.

Additional Inner Signals: The Secondary Fruits

While the five primary fruits above are the most reliable indicators, several other qualities may surface when you’re making decisions aligned with your values and purpose:

Generosity: You Feel Inspired to Give, Mentor, and Support Others

When you’re aligned with your authentic path, your natural impulse is to lift others up alongside you. Right decisions often unleash a desire to share your gifts, mentor others, or contribute to something larger than yourself. This generosity isn’t forced or performative—it flows naturally from a sense of abundance and purpose.

Reliability: You Keep Commitments More Easily—Not Out of Obligation, But From Integrity

Aligned decisions make it easier to show up consistently. When your choices reflect your values, following through feels natural rather than burdensome. You find yourself honoring commitments not because you “should” but because doing so aligns with who you are.

Emotional Balance: You’re Less Reactive, More Measured—Even Under Pressure

Right decisions often bring greater emotional stability. When you’re not fighting against yourself internally, you have more capacity to respond thoughtfully to external challenges. You might notice you’re less triggered by others’ opinions or more able to stay centered during stressful situations.

Self-Control: You Choose Long-Term Meaning Over Short-Term Impulse

Alignment with your deeper purpose makes it easier to delay gratification and make choices that serve your long-term well-being. This isn’t about rigid self-discipline but about natural alignment—when your choices serve your authentic self, saying no to distractions becomes easier.

How to Cultivate This Inner Compass

So, how do you become more attuned to these signs? Like any skill, discernment improves with practice and attention.

1. Practice Self-Inquiry

Journaling questions like “What am I truly longing for?” or “What would I choose if I trusted myself?” can shift your awareness from external shoulds to internal wisdom. Try setting aside 10-15 minutes each morning to write freely about whatever decision you’re facing, without censoring or analyzing your thoughts.

Other powerful questions include:

If I were my wisest, most loving self, what would I choose?
What would I decide if I knew I couldn’t fail?
What am I afraid will happen if I choose authentically?
How does each option align with my core values?

2. Build Your Inner Stillness

Mindfulness, prayer, meditation, and even silence help tune you to these subtler inner fruits. In our noisy world, we need intentional practices that help us hear the quiet voice of wisdom beneath the mental chatter.

This doesn’t require hours of meditation. Even five minutes of quiet breathing, a short walk in nature, or a few moments of prayer can help you connect with your inner compass. The key is consistency: creating regular spaces for listening within.

3. Get Support

A coach can help you untangle fear from intuition and reflect back what you may be too close to see. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us recognize our own patterns and wisdom. A skilled coach won’t tell you what to decide, but will help you access your own knowing more clearly.

Other forms of support might include:

Trusted friends who know you well and can offer honest reflection
Spiritual directors or mentors who can help you discern your deeper calling
Therapists who can help you work through the emotional blocks that cloud decision-making
Support groups or communities where you can process decisions with others facing similar choices

4. Notice the Effects

Like wind that can’t be seen but moves the trees, the “rightness” of a decision is often best observed in its ripple effect. Do you feel more grounded? More open? More in flow? Pay attention to how your choices affect not just your immediate circumstances, but your overall sense of well-being and connection to purpose.

Keep a decision journal where you track not just what you decided, but how those decisions affected your energy, relationships, and sense of alignment over time. This practice will help you recognize your own patterns and trust your inner compass more fully.

When the Path Isn’t Clear: Navigating Uncertainty

Sometimes, even with all these tools, the right decision isn’t immediately obvious. You might feel multiple fruits pointing in different directions, or you might feel none of them clearly. This is normal and doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

In times of genuine uncertainty, consider:

Taking smaller steps instead of trying to make one big decision. What’s the smallest move you could make in each direction to gather more information?
Setting a deadline for decision-making so you don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis, while also giving yourself enough time to let clarity emerge.
Accepting that some decisions can’t be known to be “right” until after they’re made. Sometimes we have to choose based on limited information and trust our ability to course-correct as we go.
Remembering that most decisions are reversible or adjustable. The fear of making the “wrong” choice often paralyzes us, but most paths can be changed if they prove to be misaligned.

Final Thoughts: The Spirit of Discernment

You don’t have to get every decision right. That’s not the point. But when you learn to notice the deeper fruits—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness—you start to make decisions from a place of wholeness rather than fear or ego.

This is not about moral perfection or performance. It’s about presence. Listening. Trusting that your deepest wisdom knows the way—and is often whispering, not shouting.

The practice of discernment is itself a spiritual discipline, a way of honoring the sacred within yourself and trusting that you have access to guidance beyond your conscious mind. It’s about developing a relationship with your own wisdom and learning to trust it even when others disagree or when the path seems uncertain.

So if you’re facing a choice today, don’t just ask, “What’s the smart move?” Ask: “What brings me closer to peace? To love? To who I’m becoming?”

You may not see the whole road. But you can learn to trust the wind that moves you.

The journey of learning to make decisions from this deeper place is lifelong. Be patient with yourself as you develop this capacity. Every decision—whether it leads to the outcome you expected or not—is an opportunity to strengthen your connection to your inner wisdom.

Trust the process. Trust yourself. And remember that the goal isn’t perfection—it’s alignment with your authentic self and highest purpose.

Need Clarity on Making a Big Decision?
Apply now for a free consultation and discover how coaching can help you find peace, confidence, and direction in your next step.

Thinking About Becoming a Coach to Help Others Make Decisions?
Watch our free intro class to learn how you can empower others to make confident, aligned decisions—and build a fulfilling career doing work that matters.