Think about a time when someone came to you for help. You probably listened to their problem, thought about what you would do in their situation, and then offered advice.

The Difference Between Advice-Giving and Coaching

At first glance, advice-giving and coaching might seem like the same thing, but they couldn’t be more different. In advice-giving, you’re the expert. You provide the solutions, you share your wisdom, and you offer direction based on your own experiences. You’re solving their problems for them.

But coaching? It’s about creating space for the client to come to their own conclusions. It’s about deep listening, asking powerful questions, and guiding them to discover their own solutions. Here’s how it compares:

In coaching, your role isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to be the facilitator—the person who holds space for clients to think, explore, and ultimately find their own truth.

You’ll quickly realize that this shift isn’t just about changing your approach to clients. It’s about shifting how you show up—how you listen, how you guide, and how you empower. And as you do, you’ll start to see your clients not just finding solutions, but growing and evolving in ways they never imagined.

Mastering Coaching Skills

To transition into this role of being a true transformational coach, there are a few essential skills you need to master. This isn’t about giving advice or telling your clients what to do. It’s about guiding them with powerful coaching tools that foster self-discovery and lasting transformation.

Here are a few coaching skills that will help you step into your full potential as a coach:

Deep Listening

Deep listening isn’t just hearing the words your clients are saying—it’s about truly understanding what’s beneath those words. It means listening with your entire being, noticing not just the content of their speech but the energy behind it.

Think of yourself as a mirror, reflecting your client’s emotions, thoughts, and nervous system state. Thanks to mirror neurons, when you are grounded, present, and calm, your client’s nervous system naturally attunes to that stability. Your presence itself becomes a resource, allowing them to regulate their emotions, slow down their racing thoughts, and access deeper levels of awareness.

This goes beyond surface-level listening. When you listen deeply, you create an environment of trust and safety, where your clients feel comfortable exploring what’s really going on inside of them. This space is where breakthroughs happen.

Metaphors for Deep Listening:

The Conductor and the Orchestra – As a coach, you’re the conductor, guiding the client’s thoughts, emotions, and insights into harmony. You don’t just hear their words but also the pauses, the tempo, and the rhythm of their experience.
The Still Lake and the Moon – Like the calm surface of a lake reflecting the moon, your presence reflects the client’s feelings, providing clarity and insight. When you remain steady, they can see themselves more clearly and gain a deeper understanding.

Holding Space

Holding space is a fundamental coaching skill. It’s about creating a judgment-free environment where the client feels safe to express themselves, explore difficult emotions, and gain clarity. It’s not about rushing to fix things or offering solutions too soon. Instead, you allow the client to process their emotions and thoughts in their own time, at their own pace.

This allows them to truly feel seen and heard, which is essential for transformation. When clients feel held and supported, they can start to uncover insights and make decisions from a place of strength and authenticity.

Using Your Own Nervous System as a Resource

Your presence is one of the most powerful coaching tools you have. When you regulate your nervous system, you help your client regulate theirs. This happens on a nonverbal, subconscious level through mirror neurons—your client will pick up on your energy, your steadiness, and your way of being.

Think of yourself as a lighthouse in a storm. Your client may feel overwhelmed, stuck, or confused, but your steady presence provides grounding, clarity, and a sense of direction. You don’t have to say the perfect words or have all the answers—your ability to hold a calm, centered presence is what allows them to access their own insights.

This is why coaching isn’t just about what you know—it’s about who you are in the moment. The more you cultivate your clarity, calmness, and self-trust, the more your clients will be able to access those same qualities within themselves.

Get a Solid Coaching Framework

As a transformational coach, it’s important to have a solid coaching framework that helps you guide your clients through their personal growth and transformation. Having a structured framework keeps your sessions focused and ensures that your clients get the most out of each coaching conversation.

One framework that has been incredibly effective in coaching is BETAS:

Body Awareness – Start by grounding the client in their physical sensations. Help them tune into their body and recognize how it’s responding to different thoughts and emotions.
Emotions – Guide the client in naming and processing their emotions. This helps them become more aware of how emotions affect their decisions and behaviors.
Thought Patterns – Help the client identify limiting beliefs or automatic thoughts that may be holding them back. By becoming aware of these patterns, they can challenge and change them.
Aligned Action – Support the client in choosing actions that come from their true self, aligning their behavior with their core values and purpose.
Spiritual Connection – Encourage the client to reflect on deeper meaning, intuition, or a sense of connection to something greater than themselves.

This framework helps you and your clients stay on track and work through each layer of the transformation process, from understanding the body to taking aligned action.

Lisa’s Example: A Case Study of Transitioning from Advice-Giver to Coach

Let’s take Lisa as an example. Lisa was a well-known consultant who prided herself on giving advice. When her clients came to her, they were often looking for answers, and she was happy to provide them. Her advice was always well-intentioned, and it worked—most of the time. But over time, Lisa began to notice a pattern: after she gave advice, her clients would feel empowered for a short time, but eventually, they’d fall back into their old habits. They’d come to her again, asking for more solutions.

Lisa realized something was missing. She was solving their problems, but she wasn’t helping them build the muscle to solve their own problems in the future. She was empowering them temporarily, but not long-term.

So, Lisa decided to change her approach. She stopped giving advice and started asking questions. Instead of offering solutions, she encouraged her clients to explore their feelings and thoughts. She began practicing deep listening and creating space for her clients to process their emotions and ideas. She helped them uncover their own insights rather than just handing them the answers.

And guess what? Over time, Lisa noticed her clients becoming more self-reliant, more confident, and more empowered. They didn’t need her to solve their problems anymore because they had learned to solve them on their own. That was the transformation Lisa had been looking for.

Making the Transition

Making the shift from advice-giver to transformational coach doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a journey that begins with awareness and commitment to developing core coaching skills. Here’s how you can start:

Master Coaching Skills: Develop deep listening, holding space, and using your presence as a resource. These skills will set the foundation for your coaching practice and empower your clients to transform their own lives.
Get a Solid Coaching Framework: Use a coaching framework like BETAS to guide your clients through their transformation process. This structure will keep you focused and ensure that your clients make sustainable progress.
Commit to Ongoing Growth: Coaching is an ever-evolving practice. Reflect on your sessions, seek feedback, and continuously work on your skills to become the best coach you can be.

Ready to Make the Shift?

Are you ready to stop giving advice and start empowering your clients to transform their own lives? Join our free webinar to learn how to master the core coaching skills that will help you make the shift from advice-giver to transformational coach.

Click here to sign up!