I often meet single New Yorkers who are skeptical about what a dating coach can actually do to solve their relationship woes.  I like to respond by telling them about my good friend, Betsy.  For years, Betsy tried anything and everything to lose weight and get in shape.  She volunteered herself as a willing guinea pig for oodles of fad diets, subscribed to half a dozen health magazines, and bought every workout tape on the market from Jane Fonda to Billy Blanks, all with little to no lasting success.  Until recently.

For Betsy’s last birthday, I treated her to a couple of sessions with a personal trainer at her local gym.  After only a few weeks, Betsy called me excitedly to tell me that she felt happier, healthier, and more in control of her personal fitness than ever before.  Nearly a year later, she is still going strong, and she swears she couldn’t have done it without her fitness coach.

Betsy’s old diet and exercise habits were pretty similar to how most New York singles I know approach relationships.  They frequent singles nights, buy self-help books in bulk, and spend hours on dating sites, only to wonder why they still can’t find (or keep) Mr. Right.  Just like Betsy, what they need most is some one-on-one coaching with a professional, and I’ll tell you why:

1.  Customized Guidance

While relationship books and articles can be helpful, you can usually expect to spend more than half your time wading through some general advice that doesn’t apply to your life.  A dating coach, on the other hand, will help you dig deep on who you are, what you want, and how to get what you want. The coach zeros in on your personal patterns, core values, belief systems, and unique strengths/weaknesses to design a strategy that is perfect for you.  Not only does a customized action plan generate results, but your coach can also tweak it over time as you evolve and identify new issues or blind spots.

2.  Accountability

Studies show that a person is far more likely to reach a goal when they let someone else in on their plans.  When you’re the only one keeping tabs on your progress, it can be easy to fall back into unhealthy cycles or even cheat on your scores.  A dating coach, like a personal trainer, can help you set milestones, and give you the little extra push to power through tough moments that may otherwise lead to quitting before you reach the finish line.

3.  A Personal Touch

Working with a dating coach is not like passively reading a book or attending a seminar; it involves developing a warm and enriching relationship with someone who is truly invested in helping you achieve results.  Finding love is no easy feat and a dating coach cheers you on, reassures your progress, and firmly believes that a love relationship is within reach for you. After months of working together, Betsy and her trainer frequently exchanged jokes and stories in between sets.  She shared with me that this personal connection helps motivate her to keep going back to the gym.  You simply can’t get that type of dynamic, interactive experience from a book or a website!

If you keep finding yourself stuck in the same old dating rut:  turn off the television, close your book, and log off the internet.  The best way to find and keep the relationship you desire is to start taking action…with a dating coach, that is!