Helping You Create a Life You Love

The "I Can’t" Crash Diet: Cutting Junk From Your Vocabulary

I’m going on a diet.  It’s time to cut back.  No, I’m not the newest P90X convert and I haven’t filled my fridge with a month’s supply of meat and potatoes.  I’m trimming the fat in my vocabulary, not my meal plan, by paying attention to two little words that pack a big punch.

I can’t.

Last week I wrote about how to headline the You show and rock your life when I unveiled my “Love Your Way to Success” steps.  (Have you discovered your anthem yet?)  But everyone knows that rock stars have to get in shape before they can take the stage, which is why Step #2 of transforming your life is eliminating all the junk that weighs you down.

Starting with “I can’t.”

The words “I can’t” are to love and success what a Big Mac and fries are to your waistline—diet sabotage.  That’s because they’re fear-based.  And fear is toxic to love.

What exactly are we afraid of?  Believe it or not, “I can’t” usually shows up because we’re scared to shine.  We are terrified of success and all our assumptions of what success brings with it.  Rock stars live in the public eye, we tell ourselves, and we’re nervous that being in the limelight means being scrutinized or criticized.  We fear that we’ll have too much responsibility or too much commitment.  We worry that we won’t please our fans—friends, family, and colleagues.

So, we load up our plates with “I can’t” and that keeps us off the stage and out of the spotlight.

But I am determined to rock my life and my life coaching services and I know that “I can’t” has got to go.  Hence the diet.  I’m committed to watching what I say to myself and trimming the Big Mac of words from my daily vocabulary.

Eckhart Tolle calls limiting beliefs like “I can’t” mental noise.  In order to rock your life and fill it with love, you must be able to tune out this noise and return to silence and stillness, otherwise known as presence.  (See Step #1 for more on this.)  Think about it.  If you were preparing to go onstage for the concert of your career, you would probably need a few minutes of stillness to collect yourself.  And you can’t keep the beat with a bunch of other rhythms blasting in your ear.

Whether you think of “I can’t” as a bunch of noise or a diet-busting Big Mac, the point of Step #2 is to eliminate those words and replace them with ones compatible with love and success.  When “I can’t” crosses your mind, shave off the T and turn it into health food for your soul—tell yourself “I can” and then explain why.  Then, visualize the results you want by swapping out images of failure with a picture of you earning an encore.  Most of us pair “I can’t” with a matching visual in our minds.  Do a little mental Photoshop and tweak that picture to match your purpose, not your worst fear.  Like any good diet, you’ll quickly find that when you’re chomping on uplifting thoughts instead of junk, you have more energy, more passion, and, ultimately, more love and success.

Want to be my diet buddy?  For the next week, try cutting out “I can’t” and leave a comment with your results.   And for more on eliminating the #1 biggest threat to your success, check back next week for your free “Love Your Way to Success” download.

See you next week for Step #3!

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As Featured In Elle Magazine