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Feminine Power New York Life Coaching

She Power: Why Strength and Femininity Aren’t Mutually Exclusive

Today is International Women’s Day: 24 hours dedicated to honoring powerful women across the planet.

I’m all over it. I take any opportunity I can to celebrate feminine energy and raise my glass to strong ladies everywhere, which surprises some people who consider the two things—strength and femininity—to be mutually exclusive.

Culturally, we are trained to associate might with masculine energy and, as a result, women often feel that to be feminine is to be passive, not powerful. As a life and relationship coach, I frequently observe that in the dating world, this myth leads many single women to completely hide their strengths, choosing to incite a chase by running away instead of facing the single man of their interest.

I want to dispel the myth right now that strength isn’t feminine. Actually, I consider strength to be at the core of feminine energy, though it is different from what you may immediately associate with the word. Some people call feminine strength “soft power” because female energy is open, positive, and flowing—a stark contrast to masculine energy, often characterized as hard, fast, and aggressive.

Evan Marc Katz said that women should envision dating like standing on a beach with one’s feet firmly in the sand, “arms outstretched, waiting to receive love.” A woman’s strength, according to Katz’s example, is in her openness to love. She doesn’t need to charge towards it or run from it, she simply must receive it.

At the other end of the spectrum, some Supergirl alpha females I know pour on masculine strength in their dating lives, because they are required to channel masculine energy on the job by adopting hard, aggressive, and inherently male attitudes in their work relationships. Because of this, a great number of my life coaching clients who are self-identified alpha females prefer to express hard power in their relationships, directing their mates in various ways—how to communicate, what to wear, who to associate with–and can’t figure out why, as strong women, they don’t attract strong men. They don’t always like what I have to tell them.

Yang likes Yin.

Yin and Yang is about balance—the key ingredient in any recipe for relationship success. In a balanced relationship, Yin and Yang manifest power and strength differently. (“Soft” and “hard” power is just one of many examples of this contrast.) When both partners are tapped into the same power—soft or hard—it throws off their equilibrium. So, if you are a woman who must display hard, masculine power at work, commit to balance in your romantic relationships by carving out a transition time in your day to celebrate and savor your feminine power and strength, transforming your energy from one of conquest (hard) to invitation (soft).

International Women’s Day is a day that celebrates strong women all over the world. It reminds us that strength is feminine and is not always about brute force. (P.S. The party keeps going for the rest of March.  It’s Women’s History Month.) The power of femininity is life giving; it radiates light and laughter. Tuning into the power that fuels your femininity by embracing positivity and openness not only helps you achieve balance in your dating life but the rest of your endeavors, as well. (Yin isn’t anything to sneeze at.)

Happy International Women’s Day! Today and all through this month, celebrate the season and tap into your feminine strength. Remember, might isn’t only a man thing.

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As Featured In Elle Magazine